Take a Look Inside My Mind edisi keduaaa! *tebar konfeti*

I’ve always been an avid journal keeper since like elementary school dan ini planner paling baru yang saya pakai setelah pindah-pindah dari notes satu ke notes lain. Keliatannya lebih gampang gitu manage-nya nanti kalo insert-nya abis tinggal ganti doang. Padahal nggak juga sih, tetep aja insert yang lama harus disusun -__-


Front Page

Berhubung planner baru, jadi inilah, masih sepi dan membosankan. Depannya hampir nggak ada isi dan hiasan apa-apa selain itu kertas yang nyelip; oret-oretan character relationship dan draf untuk blog post ini di balik fotokopi transkrip nilai kuliah. I need more time. And maybe tassels or cute clay keychains. Help.

Weekly page

I picked the busiest week among all. My life basically consists of reading, writing, light exercising. Repeat. Sambil nulis beberapa submission untuk web dan copy editing untuk blog bisnis temen. Let me tell you that this how the most stressful week of mine looks like. Wondering how my lazy week looks like? Well, then it would be an empty page LOL

Notes

Yang di atas ini adalah catatan pelajaran SEO saya—yang kemudian saya lupakan, catatan penggunaan simple present tense—karena saya udah lupa pelajaran jaman les dan sekolah, beberapa ide untuk tulisan yang entah akan jadi apa dan kapan, line-line nemu di mana tauk, dan—yang jelek banget itu—coretan sajak Dannis yang saya masukin ke salah satu chapter di Sunday Morning.

I write everything everywhere. Planner ini, meskipun punya section dan tab-nya masing-masing, tetep aja berantakan. Bingung juga abisnya kalo warna kertasnya sama semua gini. Di sana backchanges buku, di sini potongan-potongan series of events, di mana-mana quotes. Nggak ada tempat yang mana buat apa. I wish I got more divider, washi tapes and colored papers and stacks of sticky notes T___T

Plain Notes

This is where the mess is collected. Lebih parah dari apa yang saya kumpulin di lined notes tadi. Godaan kertas polos itu memang besar banget, ya. Bawaannya pengen nulis segede-gede upil gitu dari ujung halaman sampe ujungnya lagi. Jadilah begini:

Secuil character sheet untuk Sunday Morning, Bonbon Cakery walkthrough I once played and kept long ago, list film horror Netflix yang harus diburu, dan jadwal olahraga harian yang lebih sering di-skip dari pada dipraktekin XD

Not everyone will show you their planner. It's a private belonging. Mainly to a writer. A planner to a writer is worth thousand words. So when they give you a brief look, take a chance! They will close it in a minute. But this will not be only time I show mine to you. I'll come back soon with a happier planner! :D

take a look inside my mind thoughts

5:42 PM

Meeting your old friends after seperated for decades should be like… binge talking, binge eating, nor binge watching. But, the things wasn’t turn out fine. I was lost in thought, sinking into the deep water, like dying. The worst part was, they followed me to the bottom of the ocean.

It was a short escape. Otherwise, i didn’t know what would i go for. I didn’t know what i run for. I  didn’t even know what i did for. Everything was blurry. I saw a fragile in me, in us.

The not so this typically Saturday nite, i didn’t know that should i thanks ‘em or do apologize for ruining the vibe. I thought there was someting missed. I just kept thinking, maybe i was tired and need some sleep. Maybe i was still missed ‘em but the times just didn’t into me.

random

7:47 AM

Membaca buku itu biasa. Biasa banget. Menelan 700 halaman lebih bisa dilakukan dalam waktu seminggu dua atau tiga kali malah kalau kamu pembaca yang ahli. Dan nggak sedikit yang bisa melakukannya. Buku bagus pun selalu ada. Banyak pula. Tapi tahu nggak betapa banyak bacaan lain selain buku di luar sana, di internet misalnya?

Berikut beberapa temuan yang worth-reading yang saya temukan dalam perjalanan panjang saya mencari bacaan bagus di internet:

–Marc and Angel

This is one of those gems I found on Twitter melalui tweet dan retweet account-account yang saya follow. Marc and Angel adalah tempat yang tepat untuk menemukan nasehat dan kalimat-kalimat bijak untuk masalah relationship –love relationship, colleague relationship, family, friendship, you name it. You’ll find yourself stopping and staring at the distance and sighing, thinking back to what’s happening in your life at some point while reading their heartwarming articles.

Beberapa artikel yang ‘makjleb’ yang pernah saya temukan:

5 Ways to Stop Feeling Insecure in Your Relationships

10 Ways to Break Your Own Heart

99 Tiny Stories to Make You Think, Smile and Cry

–Medium

Esai-esai dan tulisan fiksi mereka tentang cinta dan hubungan selalu jadi favorit saya. Dan, bonusnya adalah… Aan Mansyur mainan Medium juga!

Love Begins Where You End — On Eudaimonia

1 dari 4 Puisi Rangga di AADC2

–Quora

Saya mengenal Quora dari salah satu tweet Ika Natassa sekitar pertengahan tahun lalu yang mengatakan bahwa di Quora beliau menemukan banyak jawaban, pertanyaan, dan topik unik. Penasaran, saya akhirnya coba sendiri dan ternyata Quora sampai saat ini adalah tempat kedua saya mencari info setelah Google. Berkali-kali mainan Quora bikin saya membatin, ‘wah, kok ada, ya yang mikir kayak begini?’.

Ini temuan saya beberapa waktu belakangan. The second one really had me.

How do I deal with the fact that at age 26 I have done nothing with my life?

I want to take my hijab off. How do I get the courage?

–Brain-pickings

Beautiful thinking, beautiful illustrations. Berikut salah satunya:

In Pieces – Poetic Wordless Stories About Human Relationship by French Artist Marion Fayolle

–HuffingtonPost

Meng-cover berbagai macam topik mulai dari health, politics, sampai love dan woman, Huffington Post really knows me well. You’re gonna love their witty and attention-grabbing headlines. And you won’t know where they’ll take you click after click on that ‘see also’ section.

This Is What Mental Illness Actually Looks Like

Nah, yang mana yang jadi favoritmu?

Life Hack review

7:02 PM

One of my BFF just got married last Sunday to her three-year boyfriend. Out of curiosity—just like how I always am—we talked on LINE and I asked her many things from their new house to sex. Women my age would react in awe, ‘I wish I was her and got married soon’. Or at least women my age who are in the period of wanting to get married real fast would.

But now, sitting in front of my laptop, writing this, I feel safe. The minute she laughed and said that it is better for her not to tell me anything about it because it may left me envied her, I put my cellphone down, stared at the second mini album art of Monsta X I have been listening to in my laptop, and felt an unfamiliar warmth crept in. Minutes later, after some LOLs and stickers we have exchanged, we ended the chat. And it is still there.

 

Just what in the world happened to the old ‘oh-I-want-my-boyfriend-to-propose-me-too’ reaction I got back in my college days when me and my boyfriend were all lovey-dovey? We’re as lovey-dovey as ever now, entering our fifth year, but I don’t feel the same urge anymore. Instead I think that it’s great not to get married this year or next year. I found this weird and sort of scary. Just imagine this: I’m close to my half twenty, some of my friends got married already, I got a way-too-good boyfriend, we’re so happily committed that we decided to get married someday, yet I think it’s safer and better no to get married. How come the fact that I may not be a normal woman doesn’t scare me?

In a brief look, it’s easier to keep the status quo, in the comfort zone I’ve been living in so fondly. Marriage is a whole new universe—if the word ‘world’ is underrated. A life full of craziness that makes you want to drown yourself in a greasy kitchen sink your husband spilled the leftover mac ‘n cheese on or to strangle him in his sleep twice a week because he snores a lot. I wonder where is the drive to get married and to ‘play house’ I once possessed. Was it poofed when we were arguing over an unreplied message back then? Did we lose something in the middle of our long battle of ignorance? Am I tired of the same man that replies ‘me too’ instead of ‘I love you too’ in the end of our goodnight text? I put strikethrough on every point.

Am I in some kind of denial? Or is it just me being scared of marrying the same man for the rest of my life? After some moments of sitting still in front of my K-Pop playlist, letting the music drumming in my ears while I don’t remember what track has just played, I figured out what is really happening here. The most possible answer I can think about is the latter. It is me being scared of the marriage itself that I feel safe being alone in my bed, listening to the music not many people around me can relate to, learning SEO online and taking notes. No one would ask me to put down my earplug or nagging on what I cooked for dinner. No one would comment on how I chew and why I use fork to eat rice. No one would say ‘yes, you may’ or ‘no, you can’t’. I can live the way I always want to live. Period. I’m in my happy place. 

It might just me afraid of taking chances, of whatever joy and happiness that comes with it. I know very well that there will be other possibilities in one marriage. You can be happy and you can be sad. Married or unmarried, they will coexist. I’m saving myself from getting hurt, from anything that may intrude my sacred habits, while at the same time, I’m losing the chances of being a lifetime company of my lover, being each other’s life and death.

Marriage is one inevitable mandate in the society I live in. It would be my fault for not getting married or getting married late. People will frown at me. I’ll be the weirdness among all the normality. But, who cares? Let me be weird for a moment. Chances won’t wait or come twice but that’s what chance is all about.

Disclaimer: the images belong to We Heart It 

deep talk thoughts

5:19 PM

What I Wish About What I Could Wear to Office by inshonia featuring silk scarves

clothing Exelle fashion Gabriella Rocha NIKE polyvore style The Great WithChic

10:35 PM

Finally...
*drumroll*
I'm back with another oreo hack~
Kali ini saya membuat pumpkin pie alias pie labu dengan oreo sebagai crust atau kulitnya. It was an easy cooking, karena tidak menggunakan oven tetapi hanya dengan pan fried alias teflon. Sangat sederhana dan hemat listrik tapi tetap enak :p

Ingredients:

Oreo 60gr
Biskuit Roma 60gr (bisa mix dengan ini atau tidak)
Coklat secukupnya
Labu kuning sekitar 450gr
Susu cair 50ml ( saya menggunakan ultra milk full cream)
Gula pasir (sesuai selera)
Margarine 100gr
Agar- agara bening
Air

How to cook:

1. Kukus labu sampai matang kira-kira 30 menit lamanya. Sementara itu, hancurkan oreo dan biskuit sampe halus dengan rolling pin. Lelehkan margarin dan coklat.
2. Setelah oreo dan biskuit menjadi crumbs, campurkan margarin dan coklat perlahan.
3. Untuk membuat pie crust, pindahkan mixed oreo dan biskuit yang telah tercampur margarin cair dan coklat ke pan fried. Tekan- tekan sampai penuh dan melekat.
4. Didihkan agar- agar bening yang ditambah air, gula, dan susu cair. Lalu campurkan dengan kukusan labu kuning yang telah dihaluskan.
5. Panaskan pie crust dengan api kecil sekitar 2menit.
6. Pindahkan isi pie, labu kuning yang tercampur agar- agar ke atas pie crust. Diamkan hingga dingin.
7. Pumpkin pie with oreo crust siap dihidangkan~

Anyway, it was my second time cooking pumpkin pie. Sebelumnya saya membuat pie crust dengan biskuit roma saja. Told ya, ini easy, simpel,  dan kind of lazy cooking 😂 Bisa jadi cooking hack buat anak kos yang pingin cemal- cemil enak tapi hemat dan ribet :D
Happy cooking!

home cooking Life Hack recipe

6:45 PM

Loving you was like the amber of morning rays, came through those triangle windows in the kitchen filled with aroma of morning coffee.  A cup of your favorite black coffee and a cup of mine,  cappuccino. It never served without baked croissants nor almond brownie i cooked. Instead of watering the plants, you clinged to me like a glue while i was busy with the kitchen stuff.

It was nice when you put your head on my shoulder. It felt like you were sharing the burden you've tried to carry alone. The next routine, we drank our coffee with bliss.

We talked a lot of things like a silly joke you watched last night, my failed new recipe, a stripes bow tie your father gave you, a powder on my pink floral apron, a bunch of dark chocolates you would like to buy me, and how you loved the smells of the sea.

Morning was always our best 'us time'. 
The rays have always been shining the backyard of our house, shimmering the wild flowers we picked then planted it between the unpretentious dandelions.

poem prosa random

12:26 AM